Support

Welcome to the SUPPORT section of Sands website

A baby changes lives. It doesn't matter if that small person has never drawn breath, or has lived only a short time, for the people who are left things are never the same again. The death of a baby is the loss of a person and the loss of future dreams. At Sands we know how precious and irreplaceable each baby is and how they will always be a part of the lives of those who love them.

When a baby dies, parents can feel isolated. At Sands we know how it feels. Many of us have lost a baby ourselves. Parents often tell us how much it has helped them to know that they are not alone in feeling as they do, and that hearing about other's experiences has helped them to make sense of and cope with their own loss.

"People can sympathise, but only someone who has been through it themselves can know how you feel. The hopes and dreams that you have, the anguish and helplessness that you feel." Bereaved father of twins.

We also understand that everyone’s experience of bereavement is unique – we don’t have a blueprint for how your bereavement may go. But we do have years of experience of listening to others who have had a baby who has died, and who have survived to find a place of acceptance.

Sands is here to help anyone affected by the death of a baby: mothers, fathers, grandparents, siblings, friends, carers. At different times you may want different kinds of support. We hope you find something here that is right for you.

Here is a summary of what you will find in each part of this SUPPORT section:

When your baby dies

This section is particularly for parents and relatives whose baby has died recently. It may also be of help to those who know that their baby is likely to die very soon.

There is information about the choices you can make, the practical things you have to do, and ways to make your memories of your baby as good as possible.

Talk to someone

At any time after the death of your baby, from hours after to many years later, you may find that you need to talk to someone, besides family or friends, about what has happened and how you feel.

You may want to ring a confidential Helpline, or talk to another bereaved parent. We have details of how to get in touch with the kind of support that is right for you.

To read, listen to or watch

We have many resources aimed specifically at bereaved parents. These include books, leaflets and our newsletter, and also a CD and videos. Look here for a complete resource list.

Looking Ahead

As time moves on after your baby has died there will be ups and downs in how you feel – days when you are managing OK; other days when you feel terrible.

This section offers support in getting through times in the year after a baby’s death which are often difficult: eg. going back to work, relationship changes, your baby’s first anniversary.

 Special support

• Babies are part of families, and when a baby dies the whole family is affected. We have special information here for DADS, GRANDPARENTS, SIBLINGS LOOKING AFTER THE OTHER CHILDREN.
• Life circumstances are different, and each situation brings its own issues into the experience of losing a baby. We have information for LONG AGO, BEREAVED, SINGLE PARENTS, INFERTILITY, MULTIPLE LOSSES, THE NEXT PREGNANCY

Shared experiences

This is the place to read about other people’s experiences of losing a baby. For many bereaved people this is a huge source of comfort and hope. There are many different stories and poems from a wide variety of perspectives. You can send in your own experience to be included here.

Links

We have links to many other websites which offer support to bereaved parents, including Sands local support groups; other specialist support organisations; sites where parents share their experiences.