Special support

 

We are developing special information and support for the following:

(If there's no link yet, it means the section is still under construction).

  • Dads. Mums often are the focus of much of the attention and this can sometimes leave dads feeling ignored. There is often a feeling of needing to be the ‘strong’ one and this can affect dad’s ability to express their feelings about their own grief. This section can help fathers deal with this.

    “After our baby was stillborn, friends and family would take me aside and ask me how my wife was, never thinking to ask how I was”. Bereaved father.

  • Grandparents – in addition to losing a grandchild, you have to watch your own child suffer. Sometimes it is hard to know how to help.

    “For me the suffering was doubly dreadful for, not only did I have to watch my loved grandson suffer and struggle for life, but I had to stand by and see my daughter completely heart-broken and be unable, perhaps for the first time since I gave birth to her, to help her in any way”. Bereaved grandmother.

  • For brother and sisters - if your baby brother or sister has died, you may feel sad yourself and frightened by your mum and dad’s grief. It can be hard to get on with school and with friends who don’t understand what is going on. This section will help you with these and other issues.

  • Long ago bereaved – SANDS is here for anyone however long ago your baby died. Some people contact us 20 or 30 years later. This section can answer questions that you may have about your baby’s death.

    “When I lost my baby I didn’t feel I belonged to SANDS because I was under 28 weeks pregnant nor did I belong to a local miscarriage support group because, compared to other sufferers, I was well advanced in my pregnancy. However, I have recently made contact with the co-ordinator of my local SANDS group who has been terrific. She has taken me along to a group meeting where I met a midwife who had lost a baby 30 years ago.” Bereaved mother of 20 years ago.

  • Infertility – you may have had problems conceiving, and may be facing the devastating possibility of not having children. This section offers support for you in this position.

  • Multiple losses – you may have had more than one baby that has died through different pregnancies or perhaps you had twins that died. This section deals with the effects of multiple losses.

  • Parents supporting your other children – it is hard to remain a supportive parent to grieving siblings when your own world is falling apart. This section helps with how to deal with other children’s reactions to the death of their sibling in a compassionate and appropriate way.

  • Living abroad – living away from home, however happy an experience that might otherwise be, can suddenly feel isolating when things go wrong. This section is written by SANDS members living in France, who have found ways of supporting each other in this situation

  • Babies who die before 24 weeks gestation – the law is different for pre-24 week babies. The loss of a baby can be just as painful whatever the stage of the pregnancy. This section talks about the practical issues and the feelings which can arise with an earlier loss.

  • Single parents – may have particular feelings and practical issues to face. this section is an opportunity for single parents to share their experiences.