We are developing special information and support for
the following:
(If there's no link yet, it means the section is still under construction).
- Dads. Mums often are the focus of much of the attention
and this can sometimes leave dads feeling ignored. There is often a
feeling of needing to be the ‘strong’ one and this can affect
dad’s ability to express their feelings about their own grief.
This section can help fathers deal with this.
“After our baby was stillborn, friends
and family would take me aside and ask me how my wife was, never thinking
to ask how I was”. Bereaved father.
- Grandparents – in addition to losing a grandchild,
you have to watch your own child suffer. Sometimes it is hard to know
how to help.
“For me the suffering was doubly dreadful
for, not only did I have to watch my loved grandson suffer and struggle
for life, but I had to stand by and see my daughter completely heart-broken
and be unable, perhaps for the first time since I gave birth to her,
to help her in any way”. Bereaved grandmother.
- For brother and sisters - if your baby brother or
sister has died, you may feel sad yourself and frightened by your mum
and dad’s grief. It can be hard to get on with school and with
friends who don’t understand what is going on. This section will
help you with these and other issues.
- Long ago bereaved – SANDS is here for anyone
however long ago your baby died. Some people contact us 20 or 30 years
later. This section can answer questions that you may have about your
baby’s death.
“When I lost my baby I didn’t feel
I belonged to SANDS because I was under 28 weeks pregnant nor did I
belong to a local miscarriage support group because, compared to other
sufferers, I was well advanced in my pregnancy. However, I have recently
made contact with the co-ordinator of my local SANDS group who has been
terrific. She has taken me along to a group meeting where I met a midwife
who had lost a baby 30 years ago.” Bereaved mother of 20
years ago.
- Infertility – you may have had problems conceiving,
and may be facing the devastating possibility of not having children.
This section offers support for you in this position.
- Multiple losses – you may have had more than
one baby that has died through different pregnancies or perhaps you
had twins that died. This section deals with the effects of multiple
losses.
- Parents supporting your other children – it
is hard to remain a supportive parent to grieving siblings when your
own world is falling apart. This section helps with how to deal with
other children’s reactions to the death of their sibling in a
compassionate and appropriate way.
- Living abroad – living away from home, however
happy an experience that might otherwise be, can suddenly feel isolating
when things go wrong. This section is written by SANDS members living
in France, who have found ways of supporting each other in this situation
- Babies who die before 24 weeks gestation –
the law is different for pre-24 week babies. The loss of a baby can
be just as painful whatever the stage of the pregnancy. This section
talks about the practical issues and the feelings which can arise with
an earlier loss.
- Single parents – may have particular feelings
and practical issues to face. this section is an opportunity for single
parents to share their experiences.
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