Shared experiences

Very many thanks to all the parents, siblings, families and friends, who have allowed us to share their experiences on this site.

Our Ellie Louise 08.02.03 – 09.02.03

I was considered fine during my pregnancy and classed as low risk, due to having a normal pregnancy with first child, Sophie.

Towards the end, 7-9 months, I became ill with tiredness, drained and a severe tingling pain and slight swelling of my hands and feet, but I was told that I was fine and not to worry.

I also had glucose in my urine and had a test done which came back fine. I had a few problems with the baby not moving as much and I developed thrush. I was dizzy and weak, but still told not to worry.

On the 6 th February 2003 I saw my normal midwife and told her of my concerns about the baby not moving so much. Again I was told that it's not uncommon for the baby to slow towards the end of the pregnancy and to do a kick chart and call the hospital if worried. So at 39 weeks and with still no improvement I went to the hospital at 4pm.

I was monitored until around 5.30. I was told that my baby was sleepy. Her heart rate stayed the same – never went up or down and I was to be admitted. I had to find an overnight sitter for Sophie so I left the hospital and came back at 7pm.

Once again there was still no change and I was told to press a button when I felt my baby kick – which I didn't. I was moved to the delivery suite. I had an internal and was 2.5cm dilated and I was told my waters would be broken to speed up the labour. All this time the baby's heart rate stayed the same. Around 11pm I was told I would be going for a C section then at 11.50pm on 8 th February Ellie Louise was born at 9lbs 2oz.

Once the cord was cut Ellie died in the operating room. She never cried. It was all within a few minutes. The doctors worked on her for 35 minutes and she was declared dead at 0025 on the 9 th February.

Because Ellie was born alive I had to register her birth and then death all within 5 days so that she could be buried. It said perinatal asphyxia on the death certificate. I've been back to the hospital and was informed that my pregnancy was fine and that there were no signs of distress from Ellie. The autopsy found nothing wrong and that Ellie was a healthy baby and her death is an unknown cause.

I've had no support from my family who live near me and most of my friends no longer talk to me. I feel like I'm invisible. There is only one friend who has stuck by me since Ellie died. Someone told me to ‘get over it' –needless to say I hit the roof. Someone said I shouldn't take Sophie to the cemetery as she has never met her. But Sophie is and always will be Ellie's sister.

I'm getting counselling from a group in my area but I didn't get the leaflet until 2 months after Ellie died. The leaflet was in Special Care but I didn't get it so I had to spend 2 months not knowing about them.

Susanne