Shared experiences

Very many thanks to all the parents, siblings, families and friends, who have allowed us to share their experiences on this site.

Our little Gem

I was surprised to find myself pregnant for the fourth time. In 1995 I miscarried a little boy at 18 weeks. We called him Elliot. My girls, 12 and 14 were so excited about having a new baby in the family. I had no doubt they would become mini-Mums.

I worked through my pregnancy, thanks to the wonderful support of the pre -school staff (then and since I returned to work).

The baby was due on 18th February, my step-daughter’s 21st birthday. Our hope for a double celebration was shattered without warning. I went into labour just before midnight on the 3rd. The pain was very intense very quickly. I coped for two hours at home. Why would I rush to hospital straight away? I wanted to be there for a little time as possible!

I told the sleepy girls I was going to have the baby soon. Dad promised to return early in the morning and bring them to meet the baby. All my doubts about having another child had finally gone. I couldn't wait.

On arrival I began to become distressed with the pain. My bump had changed shape. I suspected the baby had turned in a breech. The monitor was placed on my rounded tummy... silence. No heartbeat detected. Amid my screams for pain relief I caught sight of the scan screen... stillness.

My next memory was pushing my baby out of my exhausted body. I was asked if I wanted to hold my baby. I not only wanted to hold it but hear it cry, see it breathe, open its eyes. I watched and waited for signs of life... nothing. I kissed and cuddled my little bundle then laid It on the bed. I unwrapped the perfect little body to discover a beautiful daughter. She had her Daddy's eyes and my nose and looked peacefully asleep. I wanted to hold her forever.

My distressed partner bought our girls to see their sister. Without hesitation they kissed and cuddled her. With love in our hearts and tears in our eyes we held each other.

As I was unwell, the next 24 hours were lost. I learnt Gemma had died due to placental abruption. She was buried on Valentines Day - a day celebrating love. Thanks to SANDS and the staff of Queen Mary's hospital we have a collection of precious memories of " our little Gem".

For Gemma who died in February 2002.

Julie

Julie has since given birth to a healthy little boy called Alex