Shared experiences

Very many thanks to all the parents, siblings, families and friends, who have allowed us to share their experiences on this site.

Isaac

In memory of my little man, Isaac

Isaac was delivered by emergency caesarean at 32 weeks gestation. His movements were reduced and it was found that he was small for his age. There was reduced blood flow to the placenta and his heart rate had become erratic

He weighed 2 lbs 12 ozs. He breathed unaided at first and was doing great. At two days he had a perforated bowel and was transferred to another hospital for surgery. He did well and I could not be prouder.

I was so lucky to have Isaac as I have chronic endometriosis and was told I would not have children. But I still had Isaac and I know what it feels like to have and love my son.

On the day he died I had checked on Isaac and then gone home to collect some things. On my way back to the hospital I got a call to say that Isaac was critical. My feelings of helplessness as I fought to get through the traffic were unbearable. Minutes before I got there he died – without me there. A guilt I will never forget. My vicar told me Isaac chose to go to heaven when he did because he didn’t want his mummy to see all the hospital staff desperately trying to save his life. He died of a massive brain haemorrhage.

After he died he was brought to me without all the equipment and wires. I could finally hold my little boy. He stayed with me all night. I held him close to me and never closed my eyes. He was perfect.

He has changed my life forever and he can never be replaced. He has a fighting spirit that I will be proud of forever. That’s my son, Isaac!

Susan