I wrote this poem following the birth of my daughter, Autumn Nancy, 13 months after my first daughter Mara Ivy was stillborn. 

I see her in you.

From the dark hair and the straight nose, to the tiny little identical toes.



I feel her in you.

From your weight in my hand to the touch of your skin, your beautiful face and your sweet little chin.



I hear her in you,

I think. In your cry, in your laugh. In your tiny little sigh and each little breath.



I remember her through you.

My little darling! So precious, so loved, so peaceful. So silent.



I imagine her through you,

What she would have been like - her smile, her eyes, her future. Her beauty, her sadness and laughter.



I know her through you,

I have joy in my heart that you are like her, in part, and I wonder what character of yours might be hers.



I need her and you.

I wouldn't have you if I didn't have her - I can't imagine life without either. You make me, define me, separate me into before and after.



I'm different with you.

Though incomplete, my life is far deeper and sweeter. Knowing how precious life is makes me better and stronger.



I miss her, in spite of you.

Everything about her was perfect and now life without her is not. There's a gap at our table, and a hole in my heart.



But I'm healing through you,

I think. You fill some of that void, soothe some of the pain. The wound is raw now, but the scar will remain.



I love her and you.

More than words can explain or feelings describe. Love this deep goes beyond this world, this life. It is boundless and full and deep and alive.



So I'm waiting with you.

For now, she's free - from pain and sorrow and sadness. But one day I'll see her again, and I'll be filled with joy and gladness.



Yes, I'm waiting with you.

My heart longs for the moment when she's there in my arms. I'll hold her forever and never let go. United again, my heart will be whole.

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