Two bereaved parents used their love of
music to help them come to terms with the loss of their beautiful babies.
Karen Jones and Andrew Scott both sing and accompany themselves on the
guitar. They wrote their own songs to celebrate and commemorate their
babies who died: Karen’s son Jonathon and Andrew’s son Robert,
who were both stillborn.
You can read the lyrics of both songs, as well as Karen and Andrew’s
stories of how they came to be written below.
Karen and Andrew have performed their songs at memorial services for
bereaved families. They were invited to sing at the SANDS Annual Memorial
Service at the National Memorial Arboretum in Staffordshire, in 2001.
With the help of Colin Spencer, who works in the music industry and was
interested in helping SANDS, the service was recorded and the songs were
used to create a two track CD.
To order the CD click here.
Sweet Little Child of Mine - A song for Robert
Our second child Robert was stillborn on 22nd May 1995. My wife Elaine
and I joined Perth SANDS soon after this and both found great support
there during many difficult times.
Although I suppose we have now “come to terms” with our loss,
there is never a day goes by that I do not think of Robert, and I have
a constant feeling that I can only describe as a vague need to “do
something” for him.
Strangely, it has only been since Robert’s death that I realised
I had a brother – the stillborn son my mum & dad had many years
ago had never really been anyone to me until Robert. Now he is my brother.
How the song came about
In March 1999 I was asked by Perth SANDS to sing a children’s hymn
at a memorial service in Perth for bereaved parents and families. Unable
to find anything suitable, I thought I might put a favourite poem to music,
but this just didn’t feel “right” somehow.
The night before the service I was getting slightly desperate, so after
much thought and not a little prayer, I decided to try to write a song
using my own thoughts and feelings. Although concerned it might be too
personal and worried I might not have the “strength” to sing
it, once it was written I knew it felt “right”. I was concerned
how Elaine would react, but she was brilliant.
And so the following evening, less than twenty-four hours after writing
it, with Elaine and the rest of the Perth SANDS group willing me on, I
was singing “Sweet Little Child of Mine ”. I had finally done
the “ something” I was meant to do.
Until people started coming up and asking if they could get the words
or had I recorded it, it really never occurred to me that other people
might find comfort in the words and related to my feelings. It was just
my wee song for Robert, a jumble of thoughts I’d had buzzing around
in my head .Now having the finished recording on CD I really feel I’ve
done my “something” for Robert and myself.
My hope now is that this CD acts as a catalyst for further recordings
and can be used by SANDS to help in its work supporting all who have been
affected by such a loss.
A dedication
Elaine, for all her love and strength in coping with me when I couldn’t
cope with myself; my mum, who had to come to terms with a stillborn grandson
as well as her own stillborn son; my brother who I didn’t realise
I had; my children, Jenny, Douglas and Jamie and of course Robert –
my sweet little child.
Andrew Scott January 2002
‘Sweet Little Child Of Mine’
Written and performed by Andrew Scott (Copyright Control) for Robert
Sweet little child of mine
Why did you have to go?
Never thought I would say goodbye
Before I said hello
Sweet little child of mine
Keep asking why it was so
I’ve asked the question a thousand times
But the answer’s I don’t know
You’ve gone with all the other children
Who left this world too soon
And God knows why
Only wish that I knew too
Sweet little child of mine
I’ve found it so hard to pray
I was angry with God and I shouted out loud
Why did you take my son away?
Sweet little child of mine
I’ve doubted my faith that’s true
But deep down inside something I can’t deny
I know my brother’s watching over you
God you have your own reasons
For doing the things that you do
I don’t understand why
But in my heart I hope it’s true
Sweet little child of mine
Keep asking why you can’t stay
As time goes by I get no reply
But I know we’ll meet again one day
Sweet little child of mine
Still hurts that we had to part
But over the years there are fewer tears
Because you’re living in my heart
Over the years there are fewer tears
Because you’re living in my heart.
Lyrics transcribed by Colin Spencer with permission.
Recorded live, engineered and produced by David Buckley.
Executive Producer: Colin Spencer
Yellow Rosebuds
Jonathon lived in my womb for thirty eight weeks. He was our second child.
His heart stopped beating during that thirty eighth week…………I
wish I knew when exactly.
When Jonathon was born I wanted him to open his eyes and look at me so
we could know each other. But of course that was not going to happen.
So instead we asked God to allow his spirit to come near, so we could
sense what he was like. We held him for two hours and for a while we had
a wonderful awareness of him and his angels being in the room. We felt
that he was a faithful and loyal person so we named him Jonathon after
the man who was so loyal and faithful to King David in the Bible.
As time has passed the pain has healed, but the memory is still very
precious. These children who have no value in our society’s eyes
are of eternal value. They live now in a place we know nothing about,
in a way we cannot imagine, but never the less they do live! And one day
we will meet them again. I wrote ‘Yellow Rosebuds’ as an anthem
to these silent children and to the parents left behind. We put yellow
rosebuds on Jonathon’s coffin as we felt they expressed something
of who he was….he was bright, crisp, rare. So are all stillborns.
In Hebrew Chapter 12 it says, “Because of this great cloud of witnesses,
let us throw off everything that hinders us…and run the race set
before us.” I can see my son in that great crowd of all those who
have died and gone to Heaven. They are cheering us on from the finishing
line and I can sometimes, when things are tough, hear my son shouting,
“come on Mum, you can do it!” Jesus is standing beside him
waiting for me to complete my race and run into his arms. Then there will
be no more tears or pain. These thoughts help me throw off the things
that pull me down, and my hope is that as people listen to my song they
too will feel hope well up inside them.
Karen Jones November 2001
‘Yellow Rosebuds’
Written and performed by Karen Jones (Copyright Control) for Jonathan
This is for the children taken before their time
For all the lovely children who are never out of mind
Who could not defend themselves but had to slip away
Whose angels stand close by whispering through the grey
All I can bring to show how much I care
Yellow rosebuds, bright and crisp and rare
All I can bring to show how much I care
Yellow rosebuds, bright and crisp and rare
Can you sense the nearness of that sweet and secret place?
Where every tear is wiped away from every innocent face
For those remaining who’ve had the pain to bear
Whose hope and faith are waning because it’s so unfair
All they will bring to show how much they care
Yellow rosebuds bright and crisp and rare
All they will bring to show how much they care
These yellow rosebuds, bright and crisp and rare
And we will dance as we begin to know
That we will always be together
Scattering yellow rosebuds as we go.
Lyrics transcribed by Colin Spencer with permission.
Recorded live, engineered and produced by David Buckley.
Executive Producer: Colin Spencer
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