Care when a baby dies

Sands campaigning for improved care

When a baby dies the kind of care the parents receive from those looking after them and their baby has a huge impact on their perception of the experience, and how they cope and deal with their loss in the long term.

Memories of events from the traumatic period around the death of a baby can become fixed in parents’ minds forever. Years later most parents can vividly recall details of what happened. Tactless words or uncaring treatment are remembered too.

“ The midwife told me I was lucky; at least I could have more children later. I didn’t want more children. I wanted this one. I felt like she thought my precious baby wasn’t important.”

The hurt of such experiences add an extra layer of distress to already painful memories, and can get in the way of grieving.

What parents need

Health care professionals can do a lot to ensure the memory parents take away with them is as positive as possible. Caring and respectful treatment can mean a great deal to parents. Sometimes small things like saying ‘I’m sorry’ can be very important.

Parents need time, need to be involved in decisions, and need to be treated sensitively and with respect. They need to feel the experience is theirs – that they have been able to do things the way they wanted.

Happily many parents have great praise for the people caring for them. One mother said,
“The midwife was fantastic. I don’t know how I would have managed without her care and support through that terrible time.”

A father said,
“I simply do not know how you do your job.”

Good Practice in Care

How can health professionals best prepare themselves to provide appropriate care to parents when a baby dies? It can be very hard for health care professionals to know what to do to ‘get it right’

Sands Guidelines

Sands has produced comprehensive ‘Guidelines for Professionals’, which are an invaluable a source of information about good practice in care when a baby dies. Click here for more information about the new 3rd edition..