Overview of our Befriender Training Programme

Click here to see upcoming dates for training.

Sands befrienders play a vital role in offering support to bereaved families throughout the UK. Many of us know first hand how much comfort and support a befriender can give – the invaluable reassurance of talking to someone who knows how you feel and who is there nearby to phone or to meet. Sands is very proud to be able to offer this service and we are hugely grateful to the many volunteers around the country on whom the service relies.

It is, however, very important that anyone intending to take on the role of a befriender is emotionally ready. It is a requirement, therefore, that in order to become a Sands befriender at least one year should have elapsed since your own baby's death. You are also required to attend and successfully complete the Sands Befriender Training Programme, be a current member of Sands and be in touch with your nearest local group.

The training was originally set out as Part 1 and Part 2 held over 4 days. Feedback from this course showed that the commitment to 4 days was difficult for some parents and not really necessary given the level of skills they were bringing with them. We have always recognised the valuable commitment from parents in giving their time to Sands, so we looked at a way of reducing the number of training days.

The training has now been condensed into 2 days and after successful completion, notification will be made in writing to advise that befrienders may commence their new role.

• Day 1 - an introduction to befriending, looking at why parents want to befriend, listening skills and communication.

• Day 2 - covers bereavement, empathic understanding and more diverse issues eg: termination for abnormality, suicide etc.

Both days are very interactive, with exercises carried out in pairs and small groups, as well as within the group as a whole.

After one year, befrienders are required to attend a follow up day (Day 3) to review and enhance their skills, and also to give them an opportunity to discuss any problems or concerns that they may have experienced. This day is also designed for existing Befrienders to refresh their skills and exchange ideas and experiences. It is intended that all Befrienders will be required to attend Day 3 every three years.

The feedback from the training has been excellent. Some of the comments we have received include; “ It wasn't as scary as I thought it would be ”. “ I didn't realise how much support I would get from the rest of the group and SANDS ”. “ The training has given me the courage and confidence to befriend ”. “ Very inspiring ”. “ I enjoyed the relaxed style ”. “ Brilliant! ”

The way the Befriender Training has evolved has been an exciting process. We are glad to be able to offer Sands befrienders a more professional level of training. We hope this will lead befrienders to feel valued and supported and to feel confident in their role asbefrienders.

If
If you think you are going insane - that's normal
If all you do is cry - that's normal
If you have trouble with the most minor decisions - that's normal
If you can't taste your food or have any semblance of an appetite - that's normal
If you have feelings of rage, denial and depression - that's normal
If you find yourselves enjoying a funny moment and immediately feel guilty - that's normal
If your friends dwindle away and you feel like you have the plague - that's normal
If your blood boils when someone tells you "it was God's will" - that's normal
If you can't talk about it, but you can smash dishes or shout at the family - that's normal
If you can share your story, your feelings, with an understanding listener.....another bereaved parent - that's a beginning
If you can get a glimmer of your child's life, rather than his or her death - that's wonderful
If you can remember your child with a smile - that's healing
If you find your mirrors have become windows and you are able to reach out to other bereaved parents - that's growing

~ Author Unknown ~