• Be gentle with yourself and give yourself time to grieve and time to heal. Try not to expect too much of yourself.

• Be patient with your partner, especially when he or she reacts differently from you.

• Accept practical and emotional support from helpful and sensitive family members and friends.

• Try not to waste energy being angry with people who say or do the wrong thing.

• If possible, give yourself at least a year before making any big decisions such as moving, changing your job or changing your lifestyle.

• Be creative and express your feelings. You could do this, for example, by lighting a candle, keeping a diary, writing a letter to your baby, reading or writing poetry, drawing, painting, or sewing something such as a quilt or cross-stitch in memory of your baby.

• Give yourself time to recover, both physically and emotionally, before starting another pregnancy.

• Accept and welcome the times when you feel less sad and begin to enjoy life again. They don’t mean that you no longer care, or that you have forgotten your baby.

• When you feel able, take a small step towards normality. You could go out for coffee or a drink with a friend or invite one or two close friends round for tea. When you feel ready, arrange to meet a friend or relative who has a baby or small child.

• Anticipate times, such as the anniversaries of your baby’s death, when you may feel new waves of grief. Think about keeping the week around the anniversary reasonably free and taking the actual day off from work or from your usual routine. You could do something special and different that gives you time and space to remember, perhaps with your partner or a friend.

• Although it is a cliché, time does bring healing, and bereaved parents do   recover. And most of them keep forever a special place in their hearts for their baby son or daughter.