A new baby

Having a new baby is an emotional roller coaster at the best of times. When you have had a baby who died, the arrival of another baby can bring a range of complex emotions. You may be happy that your baby is here but at the same time feel renewed grief for the baby who died. Your emotions are likely to be compounded by lack of sleep and the demands that a new baby makes on any parent.

Many parents in this situation feel that they must hide their sadness and other negative feelings: everyone is longing for them to be happy again. Other people may also say things that are very hurtful, for example, suggesting that your new baby is somehow a replacement for the baby who died. You may want to explain that although you are happy to have a healthy baby, you are still very sad about the baby who died, and that both babies will always be very important to you.

Some parents find that it takes time to adjust to the new baby. Some may worry that they don’t feel seem to feel the same for their new baby as for the baby who died. They may fear that they will never love this baby as much. These feelings are common,   but usually fade with time

Many parents feel very anxious about their new baby's wellbeing and find that they need lots of advice and reassurance. Don’t feel that you have to hide how you feel from  your GP or health visitor. They understand that your previous experience is almost bound to make you much more anxious. It is particularly important to tell them if you continue to feel overwhelmed and if you find it difficult to cope.

If you would like further information and support, or would like to talk to a bereaved parent who has had another baby, please contact the Sands Helpline.