I was 6 months pregnant when Thea, our little girl, died.  She was stillborn on the 25^th September 2004. 

Following her birth, we were given several pieces of information; one of them was a little leaflet from Hull Sands.  It was some time later before we got in touch with one of the befrienders and then attended a couple of the meetings and the services held at Christmas and Father's Day which helped us to cope a little with what had happened.   

In August 2006 we moved from Hull to Nottingham and it was at this time we decided we would like to become more involved with Sands.  We contacted national headquarters to find details for the local branch only to find that the local group had been wound up two years previously.  

We were subsequently contacted by Sue Hale, Group Services Manager, who informed us that there was another couple who were making similar enquiries.  Sue then asked us if we were interested in setting up a group in Nottingham.  This was not something we had previously considered but after some thought and discussion we felt that it was something positive that could come from Thea's death.  We tentatively agreed to go ahead.

Following a meeting where we met the other couple, Sue and her husband Steve, we felt even more positive that we had made the right decision and decided to go ahead with befriender training which was our first step to setting up the group.  This meant attending a 2 day course.  It was made up of a group of about 20 people and as with joining all groups for the first time it was a bit nerve wracking at the beginning; we weren't quite sure what to expect.  It turned out to be a very positive experience which looked at developing a range of skills (communication, listening etc) and considering an array of situations that might occur and how we in turn might best be able to provide help.  By the end of the course we felt better equipped to provide a listening ear and support to others.

 We then got in contact with the local hospital that had been running a group to support the bereaved parents in the absence of a local Sands group. I attended a couple of the meetings which has helped to develop links with the bereavement midwives and also to meet some of the bereaved parents and let them know about the proposed Sands group. 

 From this point the "real work"� started which involved:

• Organising of roles within the group (Chair, Treasurer, Secretary)
• Setting up of bank accounts
• Setting up a mobile phone contact number
• Setting up of an email account
• Finding a suitable venue and time for meetings
• Designing group leaflet
• Investing in pamphlets, support leaflets and a group library

Nottingham Sands was officially re-launched in May 2007, four months after our initial decision to go ahead with the group. When it came time for our first meeting we were all quite nervous but as people began to enter the room our confidence grew and we felt all of the hard work and preparation had been worthwhile.

 We are still developing the profile of the group and continue to receive support and guidance from Sue Hale on this and other matters.

 The group has now been meeting for 4 months and numbers have grown month by month which gives us confidence that we have made the right decision and have provided a means of mutual support for bereaved parents in Nottinghamshire. 

Lucy Richardson