Steve Hale, Chair

"I first contacted Sands following the death of our baby boy Matthew who was stillborn on 30th September 1995. I rang the local group based in Birmingham who gave much needed help and support to Sue and I in the days, weeks and months following Matthews death.

We became regular attendees at the monthly group meetings gradually moving from needing the support to starting to be able to support others and particularly in my case dads. Two years later when Birmingham Sands nearly folded I became involved in the group as Treasurer/Fundraiser as part of the committee. Shortly after becoming Treasurer I successfully undertook my befriender training.
We ran a successful and vibrant group for seven years until we moved from Birmingham to Nottingham in 2003.

After a year away from Sands I was surprised to find that I missed the involvement and felt that I owed it to Matthew and myself to see if I could still offer something to benefit the charity that had helped me so much in the dark and difficult days following my son's birth.

In 2004 following the AGM in Glasgow I became a co-opted Trustee and a full Trustee at the Belfast AGM a year later when I took on the role of Treasurer.
When the networks were set up I became convenor for the East network and have been greatly encouraged to see the growth of the representation and influence of the networks across the UK. In October 2008 I was honoured to be nominated as Vice Chair of the charity that I owe so much."

Kate Anker, Vice Chair

"My involvement with Sands began in 1989 when in my role as Health Visitor I had an opportunity to meet with parents in the first trimester of their pregnancy. In listening to their hopes and fears of becoming parents I heard, over a period of time, many stories of the pain and devastation of losing a baby. I subsequently trained as a bereavement counsellor with CRUSE, undertook various other studies including training with Nancy Kohner. Most of all I learnt from the many parents that I have supported and continue to support.

As a direct result of a family I was Health Visitor to whose daughter was stillborn I set up the Tunbridge Wells branch of Sands approximately 15 years ago. The group has developed over the years and apart from the support group and befriending we undertake multi-professional training in the local hospitals and are about to start training the South East Deanery of Senior House Officers in Obstetrics and Gynaecology.

We are prolific fundraisers and have a bereavement suite at the local hospital the ‘Hope Suite’ named after the daughter of the mum I started the group for. We also have a beautiful Children’s Memorial Garden, a joint project with Tunbridge Wells Borough Council, which was opened in 2006 by Gloria Huniford, as was the Hope Suite in 1999. We are now able as a branch able to commit to the Why 17? campaign as we have considerable funds in the bank.

We have an annual remembrance service the first Sunday in October which is always very well attended. This year we are hosting the Sands AGM and conference on the 3rd October.

I retired from the NHS in 2006 having developed from health visiting to become the Paediatric Lead and Children’s Commissioner for the local PCT. Later that year I joined, on a part time basis, Voluntary Action West Kent previously a CVS as their Health Lead. I have just been asked by the PCT to join their Maternity Matters Steering Group.

I remain passionately committed to improving the care for bereaved families, to supporting the staff at Head Office to fulfil their roles and to working with my fellow Trustees and Patrons to realise Sands aims."

Andrew Scott

I was born and brought up in Broughty Ferry (not quite Dundee!) and I now live in Pitlochry, with my wife Elaine and children Jenny, Douglas & Jamie, oh and the goldfish - Goldie!

I trained as an Actor & Theatre Stage manager , working in Theatre throughout UK, including a year with the playwright Alan Ayckbourn. I was General manager of Perth City Concert Hall, followed by a brief stint as an Aerobics instructor! and now I am the Community & Education Director at Pitlochry Festival Theatre.

My involvement with Sands came when our second child Robert was stillborn on 22nd May 1995. Elaine and I joined the newly formed Perth Sands group soon after. We both found great support there during many difficult times. I became one of the groups regular attenders (and the sole male one!) before joining the committee. I soon put my background in performing to good use when I wrote & performed my song for Robert, 'Sweet Little Child of Mine' - available on the Sands CD. In the years since I have regularly performed this at various Sands events countrywide. It was only after losing Robert that I discovered my mum also had a stillborn son - my big brother

As the Chair of the renamed Tayside Sands I hope to support the growing number of bereaved parents in the area as I was supported all those years ago and I'm looking forward to helping expand the Sands Group Network in Scotland.

Shirley Gittoes

Though I was born in Somerset, As soon as I was old enough I put down my permanent roots in Wales. Where I met and eventually married my best friend Tim in October 1999.

In January 2001 our first born, and only daughter was born stillborn.

We have continued and had two living sons, after many miscarriages. Charlie born in 2002 and Joe was born in 2004. When Joe was born he was extremely poorly and at one point history tried to repeat itself. Thankfully Joe was and still is a fighter. It was because of Joe that I got involved with Sands. I realized I couldn’t go through another child death ‘on my own’ and was determined to try and help others in our rural area.

So since then I have been trying to do small things to help. I organized our first sponsored walk and balloon release in 2005 and then in February 2006 we opened the doors to our first meeting of Powys Sands. Since then we have gone from strength to strength.

In September 2006 I was very proud to take on the role of Sands Welsh Network Convenor and being able to support and communicate with all the support groups in Wales.

I became a co-opted trustee in 2007 and was voted in as a trustee by members in October 2007.

I have been able to do everything with the constant support of both Tim and my boys who are always giving me ideas for ‘things we can do’ , but I am here because of our daughter and Charlie & Joe’s big sister.

My quiet time hobbies are cross stitch and reading, that’s when I get some quiet time.

Sheryl McMahon

I first contacted Sands following the birth and death of my second daughter Alison Hannah in May 1985 who suffered meconium aspiration during labour. She died aged 27 hours, peacefully in my arms.

I contacted Sands a few short weeks after Alison’s death and received wonderful support from a Sands befriender via the telephone as there were no groups in my local area. I valued that support very much and never forgot the kindness I received from the befriender and Sands Head Office.

In 1998 I gave birth to my son Jacob and with him, came renewed feelings of grief. It was then that I contacted Birmingham Sands and attended their monthly meetings, my first experience of meeting other parents face to face who were just like me. I felt like a door had been opened and felt so privileged to be able to sit and share the ongoing pain that exists when you are bereaved parent. I felt 'normal' for the first time in a very long time for wanting to speak with others about Alison. Even though I have always been able to share with my family, there is no friend like a Sands friend who 'knows'.

When asked if I would like to consider becoming a Trustee with Sands, I could think of no better way to honour my daughter's brief life and to hopefully continue to give back to an organisation that has been a constant in my own personal journey with grief.

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